10:32am. Just returned from the employee cafeteria here at the Tropicana in Las Vegas where I’m headlining for the Laugh Factory. Sad thing is I ate dinner there at 2:00am and haven’t slept for one second. Insomnia has visited again since I can’t use my medical marijuana which is the only thing that has saved me. That and having my wife’s beautiful butt pressed against me in the popular spooning position. Well, she’s not on this trip and Nevada is anti pot so here I am writing in this journal hoping that putting my thoughts down will purge the demons and I can nod off.

The world is awake outside as the sound of the cars reminds me. A television can be heard in the room next to me and housekeeping is knocking on doors. It’s a beautiful 84 degrees but I can’t enjoy it. Getting in the elevator to descend to the main level a young man in gym shorts and t-shirt entered holding an ipod. He was obviously heading to the fitness center. I thought, “That’s me thirty years ago.” Now I’m going to the gift shop to buy some Sominex. I had Lunesta for the first couple of nights but it should say right on the bottle, “Will make your breath smell like cat shit.”

The shows have been great but the winding down is the worst. I surfed the web thinking that would tire me out but then I saw that Andy Williams had died so I watched a few videos on YouTube of his long running TV show. That brought me back to being a kid who sat on the floor in front of the tube soaking it all in. When I saw the clip of  Jerry Lewis teaching Andy how to dance I’m positive that’s why I became a comedian. I wanted to be one of those adults who acted silly and got paid for it.

Surfing YouTube is dangerous. One thing led to another and I ended up watching news reports on Glen Campbell’s Alzheimer’s. His was another show I grew up with. Seeing footage of him repeat a song he had just sang in front of a packed audience was heart breaking. His daughter reminded him with a sweet smile that he had just played that song and he joked and went into another hit. People with Alzheimer’s don’t know they have it. In one of the interviews he has to ask his wife how old he is. She says, “You’re seventy-five, Glen.” “Really?” he says in disbelief. Tears ran down my cheeks.

That’s when I got up to go eat breakfast. When you stay up all night you eventually get hungry and being in a hotel you have to get dressed, leave your room, and function in public.

Back in bed now…hoping…

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